Today as I sat in Orchard St sipping on my Turmeric latte and then at Mackenzie’s Point devouring my Poke bowl, the notion of being on my own sprung to mind.
It’s a conversation I’ve had with many people about my ability to be completely okay and comfortable in my own company. But I wasn’t always this way and I know so many people that struggle with the idea of being on their own or being in their own company.
Sometimes even the simplest things make you feel most uncomfortable. Once you move past the idea that everyone’s looking at you and you don’t know what to do with your hands, you become completely okay in engrossing yourself in your surrounding and being in your own company
I recall so clearly one of the last few times I felt uncomfortable and completely weird being in my own company. While overseas I travelled from Linz in Austria to another town, Salzburg. I hoped on the train, and prepared myself for the hour and a half long journey. I walked on and immediately felt lost. Language barriers aside, I didn’t even feel called to look at the information around me. Instead, like tunnel vision, I could only focus on what was directly in front of me. I sat in the first carriage I found, which I later found out was a disability carriage only 🤦🏽♀️, and anxious waited to hear for my stop to be called. When it was, I jumped off the train and recalled every detail of my surroundings, just in case. I jumped in a cab and headed to the town centre to explore. But explore I did not. Instead I found myself going around in circles, walking up and down the same streets in a hurry glancing at my surroundings, not taking in the beauty around me. I felt so odd, so out of place and completely alone. I scurried to try and find even a hint of wifi so that I could contact someone I knew, someone I could talk and connect with. I think I spent all of an hour in Salzburg, less than half the time it took me to get there.
Looking back I can see how much of a missed opportunity this was, for adventure and new discovery.
I guess I’m reflecting on this because it’s been almost exactly one year since I came to the realisation that I’d have to get really good at being on my own. And I’m so glad I did.
In the past year I’ve taken myself (and my loyal bestie Max) on so many adventures. I’ve witnessed countless sunrises and sunsets, travelled interstate, ate in many different cafes (alone), worked in many said cafes, sat in parks, talked to strangers, connected with nature, walked for hours on end and sat in complete stillness.
And now the beautiful thing is that I cherish these solo-adventures. I don’t need anyone to do the things that fill my soul and when people invite themselves in on my adventure sometimes I politely say no. Because they are almost too good to share.
Embrace your own company. Embrace the friend within. And don’t allow yourself to miss out on adventure because you don’t have another set of eyes to witness it with you.