After losing my job (quite suddenly #redundancy) a week ago, only a short time after the end of a very beautiful long-term relationship, I was left thinking…
What the f*ck do I do next?
Instinct kicked in and straight away I went into stress-head-must-get-organised-and-sort-my-life-out mode.
I racked my brain to think of the different ways I could earn an income. Go back to my café job. Go back to working at the races. Start Uber driving. Do reception work. Find another PR job. But every option I thought of didn’t come at me with a HELL YEAH.
As much as I need a job, I couldn’t feel inspired about many of those options. I didn’t want to feel tied down or locked in for any long period of time. I didn’t want to feel like my life souly depended on any other individual or business.
So I decided, now is the time to make something and do something for myself.
And while I take some time out form ‘earning a living’ or at least being a slave to the dollar bill, I’m going to take myself on a soul-filled journey.
Why? Well, for the last 2 years I’ve felt like I have been running on a treadmill. Non-stop. With the pace getting faster and faster. And although the last 2 years have been an amazing experience that has led me to uncover things about myself like my PCOS and anxiety and has led me down this path of nutrition, health, wellness and now, spirituality.
Over this time, I’ve felt overwhelmed, less than worthy for any good in my life, I didn’t acknowledge myself for being beautiful, strong and fearless. Instead I saw a coward, someone who had no control, couldn’t make a decision, wasn’t beautiful, skinny or resilient enough.
And while I sometimes continue to see myself in this way, now as I look back I can start to appreciate some of my strengths. For one, I am strong. What person quits their job and enrols in a degree in nutrition off a feeling! I’m strong enough to make a tough decision. And sometimes I don’t cope all too well with them but I’m ballsy enough to do it anyway.
As for feeling overwhelmed, less than worthy and not that beautiful I’m working on it and over the next few weeks I’m going to be putting my energy into me. Into my soul. Into nourishing myself from the inside out.
I’m going to practice mindfulness, especially at meal times and around my emotions; incorporate twice daily meditation and daily yoga; along with moving my body in a positive manner that benefits myself and my health. I want to practice kindness and patience. I want to read more and absorb everything the world has to offer. I want to be the best possible version of myself. And I want you to come along for the journey.
My health is my wealth. And no amount of money can ever change that.